The matching outfits, the group pictures, the inside jokes, the endless “wish you were here” captions. But make we no lie—you no get Gyalentine’s invite this year. And maybe, just maybe, there’s a small ache in your chest that you’ll pretend isn’t disturbing you.
It’s alright. No need to act like it doesn’t cross your mind sometimes. It’s not that you’re desperate for an invite. It’s just that sometimes, it would be nice to be thought of. For someone to pick you. To have a place where you don’t have to wonder whether you belong.
That feeling is real, but it doesn’t get to define you…………
for group dinners and curated Instagram posts. It’s in the way you show up for yourself, the way you pour into your own cup, the way you choose softness over bitterness. Seeing people out together is one thing, but feeling like you don’t have your own people? That’s different. Still, you no dey lack. You no dey miss out—because love isn’t something outside of you, waiting for an invitation. It’s already here. Already yours.
So instead of sitting in sadness, use this time to grow. No be the “fix yourself” kind of growth, but the “become your own safe space” kind. When you feel unseen or misunderstood, pause and ask, “how can this moment make me softer instead of bitter? What would the best version of me do? Would she communicate with more care? Would she trust herself enough to walk away from spaces that make her feel small? Would she extend love to herself, even on the days when loneliness creeps in?”
Because the kind of friendships wey you want dey. But it starts with the version of you wey no go settle for just anything. Every day you choose healing, every time you choose to be gentle with yourself, you are building the resilience to create a space where the right people fit meet you, not out of need, but out of love and alignment. When you invest in your own growth, you dey radiate energy wey go attract the same energy. The right people go see you, not just your presence, but your essence. The friendships wey you seek? E go start with the relationship you build with yourself. And that relationship, that love, e dey boundless. You’re not waiting for it to come; you will become the embodiment of it, attracting the love, support, and connections wey match the elevated version of yourself. So keep choosing yourself, even for the days wey e hard. You dey become the kind person you’ve been waiting for…….
The version of you that is patient enough to nurture those relationships when they come. And while you wait for your people to find you—because dem go find you—show yourself the love you’ve been craving.
(Ugh, I swear, I dey vex when people talk say just give yourself the love wey you dey wan to give others), but I fear they have a point. If you set aside the irritation with the statement and allow love for yourself—and the desire for change—to prevail, e go change how you see things.
Cuz let’s be for real, Naija Sis, hating no go carry you anywhere. So, romanticize your own life. Laugh at your own jokes. No dey do strong face for nothing. It’s okay to want connection, but you don’t have to wait for it to start enjoying the holiday or your life.
And since love isn’t just about romance or friendship but also about you, here are
Watch That Movie You’ve Been Meaning to See – no one go disturb you. You’re the boss of your own watchlist.
Do a Relaxing Spa Day at Home – You’re a premium babe. Light a candle, soak in the bath, and treat yourself to a little body oil. Light small candle, run bath, rub body oil. Treat yourself like the queen you are.
Try Sip & Paint – Even if the painting no make sense, at least you go enjoy am! Get your wine, get your brush, unleash your inner artist and enjoy am!
Cook Something You Love – Not your usual instant noodles o! Try making that special dish, set table, and enjoy like say na your birthday.
Write Yourself a Love Letter – Tell yourself say you fine, you dey smart, and you dey strong. Let the words sink in.
Take a Walk and Breathe Fresh Air – Go somewhere different from your usual route. Nature has its own way of healing. Find new place to clear your mind, and enjoy the calm.
Create a Vision Board – Make vision board, set goals for the life you wan build. Forget the people wey no dey.
Dance Like Nobody’s Watching – Play your favorite song and dance like say nobody dey look you. No worry who wan judge, na their wahala.
Log Off for a Day – Social media is cool, but your mental health deserves a small reset sometimes. Try it, you’ll be glad you did. Go relax, your mind go thank you.
Treat Yourself to Something Small – Whether it’s a new perfume, a cute robe, or a plate of your takeout —go ahead, spoil yourself, you deserve am.
You deserve soft life, amazing friends and more. Happy Valentines Day, Naija Babe!